Abusive behavior is not peculiar to a specific gender but since it has to do with control, it is mostly dominated by male folks. If you notice one or more of these signs in your relationship, there’s a pretty good chance that you are being manipulated. Unlike most people think, you can’t help or change a manipulative partner. You may only talk about it in a constructive manner to know if he/she is willing to get some professional help for the sake of the relationship,but an abusive person will most likely not give you the privilege to discuss the issue. You should choose your options carefully though, an abusive partner will feel exposed when he/she knows that you are aware of their strategy and may lay low for a while.

  1. If you realize that you are always walking on eggshells around your spouse out of fear that you might upset him/her, you are being manipulated.
  2. If your partner has a ‘you-made-me-do-it’ attitude, telling you that you are responsible for all his/her bad behaviors.
  3. If he/she attempts to isolate you from family and friends. Abusive people often throw irrational fits of jealousy when they see anyone around their partners because of their insecurity.
  4. If he/she doesn’t care about your concerns, but complains every time that you are complaining.
  5. If he/she tries to make you feel bad just to get you to do what he/she wants.
  6. If he/she is not speaking clearly to you, but sends you mixed signals to have you deluded into thinking there’s a whole lot going on between you two when in reality, nothing is happening.
  7. If he/she unfavorably compares you to other people and utters statements like, “Why can’t you just be like so-and-so?”
  8. When your spouse makes a habit of criticizing you in the presence of mutual friends, drawing attention to your shortcomings. He/she might be direct and mean, saying things like, “You still eat that? Can’t you see how fat you are?” or subtle remarks about your job, ideas, hobbies, the way you walk or talk, but mean nonetheless.
  9. When only his/her ideas count. He/she never consider any suggestion from you.
  10. If you find yourself constantly trying to convince yourself that your spouse’s words are the real deal because they don’t match their actions.
  11. If his/her words or actions insinuate that he/she is too good for you and that you are lucky to be in a relationship with him/her.
  12. If it is always your partner’s way or the high way. We agree to disagree in relationships but when your partner makes sure that he/she have the final say, and may even threaten to break up with you when you have contrary views. That’s some serious manipulation!
  13. If he/she constantly go through your text messages, emails, cards and letters and accuses you of unfaithfulness.
  14. If your partner keeps you in the dark about what he does and where he goes, leaving you to figure things out. Good relationships thrive on the soil of friendship. If he/she keeps you away from what is going on in his/her life, then what you have is not worth much.
  15. If you feel compelled to keep secrets from your spouse because they will use the information against you.



Friday Moment!

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