Let’s cut to the chase.
You can search all you want – from Africa to Australia – and back again. You will never find a man with universal appeal. Even the most appreciated persons from ages past are not exempted. Why bother anyway? You’ll always be too fat or too skinny, too loud or too quiet, too ambitious, enigmatic, and too…purpose-driven…trust me, the list is endless. Seriously, you won’t believe the actual things that people will loathe you for. They are the very things that make you an original. If you try to be anything less of who you really are, you’d be doing the greatest wrong to yourself.
There are basically two ways you can wrong your own self. To compete, and to compare with yourself others. Competition is healthy on one hand (he good!). We are all in need of some tinny-winny doses of that to get us into shape. It is our perception that makes it good, bad, big, or small. Accept what happens if you lose out to an opponent; unhealthy competition is bad blood. It begins the moment you move from being challenged to sensitivity.
And someone says “I can’t just help feeling the way I’m feeling about this!” Well, Babe. The problem is not the feeling. The problem is linking your person to that feeling. What does it mean to you if you don’t get the attention some other person does? How do you feel about yourself when others get results that you’ve been dreaming about all your life and you can barely pull through? Does that feeling you get open your heart to working around things to achieve better results? Or does it close your heart resentment and strife?
Comparing yourself with others is absolutely unacceptable to your self. It happens when your competition isn’t healthy. It is a character flaw hidden somewhere deep within, Babe. You’re far too unique to compare fairly.
“For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with them that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.”
So just like Martha Graham I can tell you that it is not your job to judge your own work, and it is not place to compare it to others. Your duty is to figure out how valuable you are, and how useful your work can be. Your responsibility is to create. To share what you’ve got to offer from where you are now. It is not your job to tell yourself, “No.”
We’re all prone to this bad blood, Babe. And this urge to compare ourselves to another. And there’s just one way out of the whole crap.
When things aren’t working the way they ought to, emoting resentment, strife, and all those bad belle stuff won’t make you any better. In fact, it will taint your life. What you really need is a strategy that can only come from your spirit. But you’ll have to distinguish what’s important from what is urgent. The things that are important are not necessarily wrong, but they are not necessary either, and you’ve got to sort that out. The important things are associated with what I am called to do. And the urgent things are things that require immediate action or attention. It might not be relevant. Some urgent stuff are relevant but you just might have to delegate authority.
Folks usually say that you’ve got to do things yourself if you want something done well, but I’d rather say that if you want a job well done…hire a professional!
Three things will make you want to do things yourself:
- Pride or Self-conceit
It is high time we put an end to this sneezy game of competing and comparing ourselves with others. So what if you don’t get the most attention! What does it matter? The important stuff, that’s where the attention should be.